Are you seriously all so fucking busy that you don't have the time to properly reply to an invitation?
Are you that fucking important?
I don't know whether this is another consequence of the 21st century and all the technology that we have at our disposals to replace any form of actual human communication, or if people just weren't taught proper manners by their parents.
When creating an "event" on facebook, of course it has to be taken into consideration that some people are going to click 'attending' or 'maybe' just to get rid of the notification - even if they have no intention whatsoever of attending. Maybe this is fine when RSVP'ing to those 'spam' events that occasionally crop up. They used to drive me mental. Generally, one person would be trying to promote some club or some DJ or whatever, so will send out an event to every single person they are friends with. Frequently. Many times a week. I would click 'no' and delete the event from my page every time this happened.
Then when I realised they cared not for how annoying this practice was, I deleted them from my friends list.
Yes. I am that person on facebook.
Anyway, I digress. So, taking into consideration that some people will say 'yes' with no intentions of showing up, when I create an event I like to send a few messages out in the weeks leading up that go along the lines of "hey guys, can you please make sure you rsvp correctly so that I know how many people will be coming along to my house."
Knowing how many people you need to cater for is an integral part of catering / hosting an event.
Now, I like to give my guests plenty of notice that this event is happening. Usually about a month. That way, they can let their workplaces know they will not be available on this date, and plan other social eventswith my shindig in mind and blah blah blah.
AND THEN I make every effort to speak to my guests in person before the event, to either a) get confirmation of their attendance in person or b) let them give me their excuse.
IT'S POLITE.
So. When I held a celebratory end of exams / finishing first year law party the other day, I was absolutely furious that all my friends that had RSVP's on fb, and had told me IN PERSON THE DAY BEFORE that they were attending decided last minute that they didn't actually want to come.
I set the event for 6pm.
I had spent the last 4 hours cleaning my apartment up and making sure I had enough snacks to keep everyone happy.
At 5.50 - 6.10 cue the sms tone from my phone as all my friends text me the next excuse.
And there I was. Sitting in my bedroom, feeling incredibly fucking worthless because NOT ONE of my friends had the decency to let me know beforehand that they actually weren't going to show up.
See, the thing is, you might think it's okay to just reply last minute...but think about the poor host. Who has organised food for every person that clicked 'attending'. And who wasted their time making sure their apartment was worthy of your judgement. And basically who was excited to just spend a night with their friends.
And I started wondering ... is it me? Are they just pretending to be my friend?
I can be quite paranoid, and when faced with absolute rejection like this, my self-esteem takes quite a hit.
(If any of my friends who pulled this stunt are reading this: FUCK YOU.
I'm not going to pretend to be okay with it, because I'm not. I'm actually quite pissed at you.)
There was actually an article in last month's Vogue about how rude people are these days, especially in regards to RSVP'ing. And apparently, it is a phenomenon of frequent occurence. (Which made me hate myself a little less)
Is this the result of facebook / text messaging being the go-to form of communication? I've always been one to defend technology, because I love it and how much more accessible it has made me to my friends (even if sometimes that love is unrequited). But I've been thinking more and more recently that maybe it's not having that effect at all.
It's distancing me from my friends, who spend so much time online that they've forgotten the basic manners that get people through everyday life in the real world.
I apologise for this being quite the rant, but really guys wtf. Does this happen to anyone else?
Or is it really just me and my friends pretending to like me?
