It still hurts so much, and I miss her every day even more so.
There are some days where I think about her, and can't help almost bursting in to tears.
I thought I'd share with you the eulogy I wrote for her funeral. This was one of the hardest pieces I've ever had to write (the other being my Pop's eulogy).
This is incredibly personal, but I think part of keeping someone's memory alive is sharing who they were, and the impact they had on those who loved them.
When things
go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the
road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the
funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want
to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is
pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you
must, but don’t you quit!!
This poem – Don’t quit, was on a plaque that Nan had in
her kitchen. As a child, it fascinated me, and Nan used to laugh as I’d recite
it almost everytime I saw it. She would tell me how important it was to never
give up in anything in life – that sometimes life is hard and it’s okay to rest
and regain your energy, but it’s so important to stick with it, because you’ll
come out a better, stronger person.
Nan was so full of strength, beauty and love for all those around her, and especially her family. In December, Nan and Pop shared their 50th wedding anniversary. An incredible accomplishment many can only dream of achieving. They met at the Australian Hall in Elizabeth Street in Sydney City at a dance. From across opposite sides of the room, their eyes met, and locked with one another’s. Love at first sight. Looking at photos, you can’t deny that Nan was absolutely beautiful; and there were a few other boys who had their eyes on her – she danced with a few that same night, and even went out for a hamburger with one of them. But she returned to the dance, and it was Pop who drove her home. They met up and went on a date a few days later in North Sydney. At the time, Nan was also dating another boy. She knew Pop was the one when her sewing machine broke, and she asked both boys if they could fix it. The other boy had no idea, and couldn’t help her. But Pop came to the rescue, and fixed it. After about six months of their meeting, Poppy asked her the big question and they were married in Lavender Bay on the 15th December, 1960.
They celebrated their honeymoon in sunny Brisbane, and the
following September, had their first baby boy, Des.
The three of them moved to Perth, ready to establish their
new family. Nan wanted to give Des a little sister – a little baby girl that
she could dress up all stylishly as if it were one of her dolls. A few months
after moving, Nan gave birth to another baby boy, Michael. Although they were
looking at houses to buy to settle down, Nan was terribly homesick and missed
her family back in Sydney. After about 6 months, she flew with Michael and Des
back to Sydney. Pop missed her terribly and drove 3 days constantly across
Australia to be back with her.
For a while after coming back, they lived in a two storey house
in North Sydney with Nan’s sister, Shirley and her daughter Julie. Shortly
after they bought their house at Fore Street, in Canterbury and the third baby boy, Paul was born in
Canterbury hospital.
They lived at Fore Street for about 12 years, before buying
their current home in Fleet Ave, Earlwood, where they’ve lived for over 30
years. The Fleet Ave house was renovated and extended and built up to make it
the home it is today – a place where anyone can drop in and instantly feel
welcome.
Nan loved her music. It’s funny because you say that
teenagers are notorious for blaring their music, but whenever anyone visited
Nan’s place, they would be subject to her blaring her favourite singer – Nat
King Cole. Of course, she did listen to some other singers – Paul was always
having to build cabinets to hold all her cd’s – to this day, it’s the largest
music collection I’ve ever seen.
As I mentioned earlier – Nan had such an encompassing love
for her family, and this was reflected in her home. Photos of every family
member adorned the cabinets, and shelves, and every piece of artwork that every
child drew, or every piece of writing that was ever written was kept in a
special place and deeply cherished.
As a child I spent all my free time over at Nan and Pop’s place
– after school, in the holidays, on weekends. Nan would always point at people
in pictures and make sure that I understood who my family was and how important
they were – a reflection on how deeply she values the people in her life. Every
year when any of us got our school photos she’d be the first to own a copy –
although she hated being in photos herself, so none of us were allowed to take
photos of her! Every-time a camera was pulled out that hand would fly up in
front of her face almost as quick as a ninja!
Some of my best memories include Nan teaching me how to cook
and how to sew. I always hoped that one day I could be even half as good at
cooking as she was. In the afternoons, when we’d walk in the door after school
Nan would call us straight into the kitchen where she had already prepared
potato chips in carefully measured zip lock bags (so that everyone got an equal
amount), an ice-cream cone would be ready in the freezer, and a can of drink
chilled in the fridge. Sometimes there’d also be a snack-sized chocolate bar.
She knew how to spoil us!
This was a part of who Nan was – very well prepared and
always making sure that everyone was well fed. She would always say to us “You
can never say to anyone that Nan ever let you go hungry!” Even when her sons
were young boys and she was at work at the hospital, she would spend Saturday
and Sunday making sandwiches for everyone during the week, and freezing them so
they’d be ready to eat with minimal fuss.
Nan was an amazing sewer, but she was always so modest.
She’d panic whenever someone gave her a pattern, even though she was perfectly
capable of sewing anything you threw at her. Although Nan had her three boys, and didn’t
get a baby girl, there were still Granddaughters and more baby nieces who were
yet to arrive to dress up. If you look at any photo of my sister and me from
when we were young, we’ll be wearing clothes made by Nan. Almost every pair of
pyjamas I’ve ever owned were lovingly hand-made by Nan, with the most intricate
detailing of little flowers and lace. Most of my childhood was spent in her
sewing room with her. When I was about 10, she spent months with me teaching me
and my sister how to sew our very own signature bears, to use when we graduated
from primary school.
Nan was good at teaching, but she was also pretty good at
learning. Everyone knew not to bother trying to call the house on a Saturday,
because the phone line would be stuck in the back of the computer and Nan would
be surfing the internet. When I’d visit on a Monday afternoon, Nan would share
with me stories and pictures that she’d found on the web and printed that were
“absolutely beautiful”.
I think that was probably one of Nan’s favourite words –
beautiful.
It’s a good word to describe her; she never said a bad word
about anyone....she never really said any bad words actually. And although I’m
told she never really got up to any mischief, I was absolutely shocked when she
told me that she was kicked out of her school, St Francis of Xaviers’ when she
was a young girl. I couldn’t believe that Nan would even be capable of doing
anything expelling-worthy. And it’s true. She wasn’t. Her sister, Shirley was
caught smoking on Good Friday out the back of the church by one of the nuns who
taught at the school. And as Nan was her sister, they expelled the pair of
them!
And even though Nan was incredibly well-mannered and would
never swear herself, she was quite happy
to listen to R-rated comedians such as Kevin Bloody Wilson and Rodney Rude. She
would always say to me “Michaela, it’s okay to listen to the words, as long as
you don’t say them yourself!” Nan had a great sense of humour - she introduced me to the Chaser’s War boys well
before they were ever controversial and popular, and she loved the foul-mouth
granny on the Sharon Tate show.
Nan’s laugh was full of delight – it was hard not to laugh
or smile along with her.
 |
| Nan and Pop's dog, Angel, and the bird, Gizmo playing together. |
What was always guaranteed to make her laugh were funny
stories about animals being kind to each other. Nan was very much an animal
lover – I’d say everyone who has ever met her would know this; even the
checkout workers at Big W and Woolworths in Campsie – because every Saturday
without fail she would buy a new toy for the dog and bird to play with. There’s
probably more animal toys at Nan and Pop’s house than there is in any pet shop
in Sydney. They say that the way a person treats animals reflects on the way
they treat other people.
That’s definitely true for Nan – she treated every living
creature with complete compassion, adoration and understanding.
Gwen Margaret Smith was a fantastic wife, mother, sister and
friend to us all. She was an amazingly strong woman who never gave up,
regardless of how difficult something was – not even at the end. She’s at rest
now and although we’re apart, she will continue to live on in our memories, and
in our hearts.
