It makes me so angry that a sweet 14 year old kid, coming to terms with his own sexuality, can be such a beacon of hope for LGBT bullying victims, and yet can be so affected by taunts and ridicule that he felt he had no choice but to hang himself.
It has been reported that on Jamey's formspring account people wrote: "'JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!' and 'I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!'
And in the days leading up to his suicide, his cries for help were ignored. The Daily Mail reports:
On September 9, Jamey wrote on his Tumblr site: 'I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen to me?'
The day before he wrote: 'No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you're the ones calling me fags and tearing me down.'
He put up a separate post that day letting everyone know it was National Suicide Prevention Week.
But still no one listened.
And the night before he took his own life, his facebook status was 'Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door.'
This could possibly be one of the most sickening things I have ever read.
And, to make it all worse - his tormentors and his bullies feel no remorse for their actions.
One girl was suspended from her school for harassing Jamey's older sister.
There was a Lady Gaga song (Jamey's favourite singer) played in his honour at the school Homecoming Dance. And some students chanted 'Better off Dead'.
WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with these people!?
How have they not been charged with manslaughter?
How have they not been made to understand that this is NOT OKAY. That their actions are FUNDAMENTALLY fucked up.
Even after his death he and his family are still the subject of attacks.
Of attacks that are driven by nothing more than hatred and ignorance.
There have been reports suggesting that Jamey should not be hailed as a hero; that all the discussion surrounding his death glamourises suicide.
That other bullied teens may decide it's a good way to end the pain and torment.
I don't think I agree with this.
It needs to be published, it needs to be understood that unfortunately this is a harsh reality. It needs to be made public, needs to be made aware, that people are doing this to eachother. That children younger than 16 are being so tormented online and in real life that it is driving them to death.
It needs to be understood that the prominence of bullying does not make it okay. It is a hate crime.
It needs to be addressed.
I have been the victim of bullying. ("Who hasn't?" is the phrase that usually follows this - but it is THIS mentality that we need to change)
There is one kid in particular who was in my class in year 4 who tormented me. Over stupid things, but they were still upsetting. I would go home in tears, and my mum would tell me, 'He is just jealous', 'Just tell him: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"'. Just rise above it.
Just ignore it.
Torment him back.
Don't stoop to his level.
Just know within yourself that you are better than him.
What kind of advice is this!? Why do we tell children these kinds of things?
Why do we not punish the bully, but rather put it back on the victim?
We tell young kids they should be strong enough to rise against the hatred and the pain.
We forget how hard that is to do when every ounce of your self esteem has been utterly defeated, all your will and hope has been destroyed.
I remember one afternoon seeing this ad on TV for the Kids Help Line. I called them, in absolute frustration. I was so deflated and upset. Nobody was helping me out. In fact, in a cruel twist, my year 4 teacher had actually made me sit next to my bully - a bid to try make him behave. I was a good student, so why not put him next to me and I can teach him how to be good.
No. this is wrong. The torments and the bullying continued.
The counsellor who I spoke to told me that the most common reason that kids call them is because they are victims of bullying. This was in 2001. 10 years ago.
And apparently, things haven't changed. If anything, it's gotten worse - what with the advent of fucked-up sites like Formspring.
The counsellor talked it through with me and it finally felt so good to have someone on my side.
Someone to validate my feelings - that this was not right. His actions were not okay.
I know this has been an incredibly long, and not-so-cheery post, but I'm going to share just one more anecdote with you.
When my brother was in year 3, he too, was the victim of bullying.
There was a gang of about 4 or 5 nasty kindergarten kids. Not only did they verbally bully him, but they were physically attacking him too.
My mum found out about it when my brother came home with this huge, black lump on his forehead. She demanded to know what had happened. He eventually broke down and told her. By this time it had been going on for weeks.
This gang of kids would follow him into the school toilets, would lock him inside his cubicle, and demand his money. Extortion. From 4 and 5 year olds! When he tried to get out they smashed the door into his head.
This continued to carry on for some time longer.
My mum went to the school principal, who said she would try to stop it.
She did nothing.
The resounding reaction to my mum's pleas for help were 'really? Your kid is being beaten up by Kindergarteners? Surely it can't be that bad.'
My mum approached the bullies' parents. Who laughed in her face. 'My kid couldn't possibly beat up yours. Look at the size difference between them!'
It got worse.
There was one afternoon where my mum went to the school to pick my brother up. She couldn't find him.
She walked around the school building to the toilet block, where my brother was being held up against a wall by the group of kinder mothers.
This was all happening right outside the principal's office.
My mother was livid, understandably.
Eventually my brother was taken out of that school, but it is absolutely horrendous that it took that long for anything to happen. It got to the point of ADULTS bullying a 7 year old, before any action was taken.
Jamey Rodemeyer's story overwhelms me with anger and sadness.
Bullying is something I just don't understand.
I don't understand hatred.
I do not understand how we, as a society, continue to perpetuate an environment where bullying is not condoned, but not condemned either.
Gladly, things are changing.
Sadly, not quickly enough.
